Umbrellacide: An Introduction

Umbrellas are one of humanity's unheralded inanimate objects. They shelter us from the elements, but they are disposable. They are left on trains, in shopping carts, or, if they weaken and buckle under the wrath of the elements, they are cast aside with only a grimace and a curse.

I have long considered posting the evidence of the scattered umbrella corpses after a storm. Now it is time.

First, a disclaimer. I am, in no way, claiming this is an original idea. A year or two ago, the New York Times featured a photo-collage of umbrella skeletons littering the city streets after a Nor'easter. I am experimenting. Feel free to comment on whether you find this enjoyable, interesting, or neither.

What possessed me to begin this venture at this time was getting caught yesterday, lacking umbrellas, on 86th Street in Brooklyn. I saw this woman struggling with an umbrella, in which, the lights were about to go out forever.


And this was not a dinky umbrella, but a rather sturdy one.



We moved on, and entered a store across the street. Fifteen minutes later, we exited and saw the previously wounded umbrella, abandoned on the sidewalk:


So, that was that, I was on a mission. A little while later, a snapped this shot, the umbrella lying lifeless next to a rubbish can, like a corpse resting next to a dumpster in an alley somewhere:

And later in the day, this sad soul was crushed lifeless in the middle of Third Avenue:


A different view:


And later, the morguelike close-up:


And thus concludes this first installment of Umbrellacide.