Saturday, July 22, 2017

Funny Shit My Aunt Sends Me: Tech Support

A young woman who submitted the tech support message below (about her relationship with her husband) presumably did it as a joke. Then she got a reply which was way too good to keep to herself.

THE QUERY:

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate.


THE RESPONSE (that came weeks later out of the blue):

Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: Ithoughtyouloved me.HTML and try to download Tears 6.2. Do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta version. Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In- Law 1.0 as it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources. In addition, please, do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0.

Good Luck!

Thursday, July 20, 2017

Cool Shit My Aunt Sends Me: Corporate Logos

HERE ARE A NUMBER OF CORPORATE AND OTHER LOGOS THAT YOU HAVE SEEN MANY TIMES BUT ONCE YOU SEE THEM HERE YOU WILL NEVER LOOK AT THEM THE SAME AGAIN.

Check out the FedEx logo:


Do you see the arrow between the "E" and "x" (in white)? I had never noticed it before.

~ ~ ~

How about the Tostitos logo?

The 2nd and 3rd "T's" are two people sharing a tortilla chip and a bowl of salsa.

Look again at the logo for The Tour de France:



The world's most famous bike race. The "R" in "Tour" is a cyclist. The yellow circle is the front wheel of a bicycle, the "O" is the back wheel.

What about the Amazaon logo?


The arrow means Amazon has everything from A to Z!

Fans of chocolate will appreciate this fun fact:



There is a dancing bear above the "ble". Toblerone chocolate bars originated in Berne, Switzerland, whose symbol is the bear.

And did you notice something obvious in the Baskin Robbins logo?

How about the "31" embedded in the "BR"?

This is a cool one from the Pittsburgh Zoo & PPG Aquarium:

See the gorilla and lioness (in white) facing each other?

Lastly, look at this one from Goodwill:

The “g” is also a smiley half face!


Thursday, July 13, 2017

T-Shirts I Have Known: Detroit Tigers, ALCS Champions 2012


I am a Detroit Tigers fan and I still remember fondly the 1984 World Series, when Motown last won a baseball title.

This thrift shop find is in my current circulation, and marks the last time the Tigers went to the Fall Classic.

Alas, they were mercilessly swept by the Giants.

In the 2012 ALCS, however, Detroit swept the Yankees, which caused much chagrin in my home.

This baby is currently a bit snug, but it still brings back fond memories of winning!

Monday, July 03, 2017

T-Shirts I Have Known: Farewell to 39

Today I turned 50.

What better way to celebrate but by looking back at a t-shirt I wore on my 40th birthday:


I was thinner back then, had a lot more hair, and wore, that shirt that said "39 Going Going GONE!"

I am certain that was the only time I wore that shirt.

Ah the good old days!