Lifted from McSweeneys

This bit is taken from the McSweeneys website here. For those of you who don't know, McSweeney's is the journal founded by Dave Eggers, novelist for generation Y. I thought htis was clever and brilliant and scary enough to reprint here.


Parallels Between My Living Through Two Years of Middle School and the Two Terms of the Bush Presidency.
BY TEDDY WAYNE
- - - -
The radical changes going on around me make me uncomfortable.

I am unhappy about the way things are, but feel helpless to do anything about it.

Shame is my dominant emotion.

I feel very insecure and vulnerable.

Others supposedly feel as I do, but whenever I turn on the TV it seems otherwise.

At times, I wish I lived in a faraway country.

I want to rebel against anyone in a position of authority.

Social mobility is a fallacy.

I find myself frequently watching sports for comfort.

It's totally unfair that when I screw up I get in trouble but when my superiors do, nothing
happens.

What I represent is repugnant to foreign women.

Flying is much more terrifying than it should be.

When I talk to friends on the phone, I'm afraid someone is listening in.

People tell me things will only improve after this, but I don't believe it.

I constantly think the world is going to end.

I really dislike the arrogant popular guy elected as my president.

French is considered lame.