Funny Shit My Aunt Sends Me: What Starts with "F"

A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks, was having trouble with one of her
more precocious students.

The teacher asked, 'Harry, what exactly is your problem?'

Harry answered, 'I'm  too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the
3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd
grade too!'

Ms.Brooks finally had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained the
situation to the principal. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would
give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he
was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed. 

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he
happily agreed to take the test. 

Principal:  'What  is 3 x 3?'

Harry: '9..'

Principal: 'What  is 6  x 6?'

Harry: '36.'

And so it went with every question the principal thought a bright 3rd
grader should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, 'You know, I reckon
Harry can go to the 3rd grade.'

But Ms. Brooks is still sceptical of the little bugger and says to the
principal, 'Not so fast, let me ask him a few questions..'

The principal and Harry both agree.

Ms. Brooks asks, 'What  does a cow have four of that I have only two of?'

Harry, after a moment: 'Legs..'

Ms  Brooks: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'

The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!

Harry replied: 'Pockets..’ to the Principal’s great relief…

Ms. Brooks: 'What does a dog do that a man steps into?'

Harry: 'Pants.'

By now, the principal is sitting forward with his mouth hanging open..
Ms.  Brooks: 'What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting
down and a dog does on three legs?'

Harry: 'Shake hands.'

The principal is now trembling with apprehension as Ms. Brooks asks
the last question…

Ms. Brooks: 'What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' and
indicates a great deal of heat and excitement?'

Harry: 'Firetruck.'

The principal breaths a huge sigh of relief and tells the teacher,
" Put the little bugger in 5th-Grade, I got the last seven questions
wrong  myself..."