CCC (300)

Ok, those are Roman numerals. Considering that it is Greek Orthodox Easter today, it seems fitting that I am doing a movie review of the film 300 about the Spartans battle with the Persian armies of Xerxes.


Sure, I'm late coming to the dance here, 300 made headlines a month or so ago, having one of the biggest March openings in cinema history. But hey, dear readers, it is monumental when I see a first-run film in the theater, and one that the kids can't/won't see, as well, so I figured I would blog it.

I have thought about this a bit, so I will just come out and say it. This is not your typical movie review, because I like being atypical.

I enjoyed this film. Thumbs up, all that good stuff. I went in sort of knowing what to expect, based on reviews, chatter, blogfodder, what have you. I had minimal expectations. I anticipated a film with actors I was unfamiliar with, with computer-generated scenery, gore, action, more gore, testosterone, with a shot of homerotic chest-thumping.


And it delivered just that experience.

And I know why this movie did so well. Three words:


Conan the Barbarian.

As I was coming down off of my testosterone buzz, and I had cleansed myself of all the invisible splatter that drizzled off of the movie screen, the guts and blood and sweat that exploded and saturated the audience's uptilted faces, I was reminded of my movie-going experience in Honolulu, twenty-five years ago, almost to the day.

I was 14 in May 1982, when Conan was released and some friends and I managed to get in to see the R-rated film in the Waikiki 1 Theater, onn Kalakaua Boulevard. After the movie was over, we drove up to the University of Hawai'i's Physcial Science Auditorium, where we cut our teeth on Rocky Horror, The Song Remains the Same, and Decline of Western Civilization. But showing that night in May was Russ Meyers' Up!


In one night, I saw my first R-rated film in the theaters, along with my first X-rated film. Of course, that "X" rating was pale compared to what passes as "adult" nowadays.

But I digress. Conan had a budget of $20 million, grossed just under $40 million, and made $68 million worldwide. In comparison, 300 had a budget of $60 million, and made $78 million on its opening weekend. As of April 1, it had grossed $179 million.

Conan had everything 300 has, but by 2007 standards. Both films have a significant amount of nudity. Enough to titillate a 14-year old in 1982, and I'm guessing the same for 2007. There are beasts, religious undertones, and rippling muscled swordplay. I could not help but compare the two movies after the closing credits rolled. Both films had seen previous incarnations in the comics, which was quite evident in the comic-book action of the films.




The CGI effects and the computerized landscapes are becoming less novel in today's cinema, but they are still very new to me, so I found the look of the film fascinating.


If I were going to put on the hat of cinematic snobbery, I could most likely pick apart 300, but I would be disingenuous to do so. There were some moments of dialogue that provoked chuckling among some audience members, and a smirk to my face. But, in the end, I found the film entertaining, and left the theater happy that I had seen it.

Night of the War at the Museum Worlds

I am nowhere near the movie-goer I was in the early '90s, pre-kids, so it is a big deal when I actually get to the movies. On New Year's Eve, the family and I helped make this movie the #1 film at the box office over the holiday weekend:


Not only did we see it, but we saw it on the IMAX screen at the Loews Lincoln Square.


A search of net can find you tons of reviews (i.e the review aggregator Rotten Tomatoes has 92 of them indexed here). Richard Roeper, from Ebert and Roeper, called it "dopey," four critics from the New York press (Times, Daily News, Post and Newsday) poo-poohed it, but I liked this blurb from Ruthie Stein of the San Francisco Chronicle:

"Like the institution it portrays, Night at the Museum comes alive after dark. It's a perfect movie to take the kids to. Who knows, it might even inspire them to want to visit an actual museum."

Film critics are supposed to be critical, and I can see why many found this movie unappealing. But every person I attended with, as well as everyone I know who attended, enjoyed the film. Yeah, I can put on my old snobby production hat and pick at this or that, but Night at the Museum doesn't strive to be anything it's not. It's very entertaining and it definitely held the attention of the audience. It's funny, good-natured, and a visual feast of special effects. Could it have been done better? Sure, I guess. I paid a huge chunk of change for the "IMAX experience" for four, in Manhattan, no less, and I didn't feel as if I'd been ripped off, shaken down, or bamboozled. I paid to be entertained and all four of us got what I paid for. And then some.

Time Warner Cable did one of its free movie channel deals, which we only discovered Monday. But we caught a blockbuster, or at least an aspiring-blockbuster, from last Summer (as in 2005). No Bowl Games for us, a good apocalypse wins in our household, hands down. At least, after the kids are asleep.

I have an informal pledge not to pay money to see any Tom Cruise movies ever again, but since this was free, I justified it. It is, of course, War of the Worlds, and this went over well. Again, it entertained. Owen Gleiberman from Entertainment Weekly stated "War of the Worlds is an attack-of-the-aliens disaster film crafted with sinister technological grandeur -- a true popcorn apocalypse."

Tom Cruise is Tom Cruise. It could have had Mickey Rourke in the lead and it would have been relatively the same film. Ok, maybe that's an overstatement. But I appreciated it for the effects, and the fact that it was directed by Steven Spielberg. It's always exciting for me to watch a great director flex his or her muscles, and the film did not disappoint. Not much more to say. Why populate the earth with another review? Especially for a film that is a year-and-a-half old?

I saw it. I liked it. But then again, I'm easy.